#GirlMom Series: Danielle
1. What is your name and tell us a little about yourself.
A Louisiana native, Danielle Alysse Martin is a writer and serial entrepreneur who resides in Houston. She is the founder of The CAMDA Company, a service based company for self-published authors, and Connie B. Fly, a notebook and journal company.
She has penned several literary works: The Soles of My Shoes, The Bigger Picture, & The Mourning After.
When Danielle isn't reading, writing, or being creative, she spends her time with her family. She has been married for twelve years and has four children; two of those children are daughters.
2. Did you have any expectations or reservations of being a girl mom- from things you saw and heard? If so, what were they?
I don't remember having any reservations about being a girl mom in the beginning. At the time, I just knew I had to be a mother to my child. It wasn't until she began to grow that I realized the kind of care she needed as a girl. I recall how I often felt misunderstood as a young girl. I wasn't allowed to express myself often. My mother was old school and any form of "talking back" was considered disrespectful. I wanted to parent my daughter differently. I wanted to always be an open door and listening ear for her. To teach and correct, but to also seek to know her apart from my expectations.
3. What has been the most challenging and the most rewarding thing about being a #GirlMom?
The most challenging thing about having a daughter is realizing and remembering that she is not me. She is her own person. Realizing that she isn't me means I have to consistently remind myself that I am not to control her. Guide her, yes. Lead her, sure. But trying to control her based on what I think should be happening on the inside of her is wrong. I know it's wrong. However, because I want the best for her, I forget that I know it's wrong. That's where the itch to control comes in. I'm mom. I KNOW what's best. And while that may be true on a maturity level, it is not always true on a heart level.
The most rewarding thing about having a daughter is being able to give her every thing I ever thought I lacked. To shower her with love and affirmations, constantly building and equipping her is a joy I didn't know existed. To see her grow and blossom into this defiant, quirky, creative, emotionally intelligent young girl is a gift. It's beautiful to watch. She reminds me so much of myself; yet, she is so much more. And, mothering her has given me an even greater appreciation for my own mother (who passed 15 years ago). Parents are human too. My daughter has taught me that. As much as I felt misunderstood as a child, I now know that my mother probably felt the same way as a parent.
4. If you could write a note to your daughter right now in this very moment, what would it say?
A note to my daughter would say:
I see you. You are so very capable of doing any thing you desire. I will be right by your side as you seek to accomplish those things. You are smart, creative, funny, and talented. I am proud to be your mother. I am excited about your future. I am still learning and may make mistakes. But I will correct those mistakes quickly so that they do not hinder your growth. I'm thankful to God. He blessed me with a bright and beautiful daughter. I cannot imagine my life without you.
Love, Mom.
5. How can people connect with you beyond this blog post?
People can connect with me on social media. My Instagram name is @thedanivision. I am on Facebook as Danielle Alysse Martin. If anyone is interested in journals and journaling, they can visit www.conniebfly.com.